Arnold was in a contemplative mood. He got like this sometimes, especially in particularly trying circumstances. It wasn’t just that he and his girlfriend had been recently torn apart that made these particular circumstances so trying, but it was certainly a major factor. Arnold looked over to his front door and sighed. He found at times like this that it helped immensely to get a bit existential. He put his problems into perspective by thinking of the bigger picture.
He considered that if he had kept on breathing through thick and thin for 26 years, through the first pet he saw pass away, his first argument with a friend and his first heartbreak, he wouldn’t stop now. Not because of this.
He considered that if humanity and it’s evolutionary line had kept on surviving through thick and thin for hundreds of thousands of years, through natural disasters and World Wars and thrived in this world to the point that we could harness the power of the sun, the sea and the wind and even fly through the air in metal tubes, with the audacity to complain because a baby’s crying on the seat in front while you’re hurtling through the sky eating peanuts and watching clouds pass by your window, and if we’ve put men on the moon and satellites in space… No, we wouldn’t stop now. Not because of this.
He considered that if the Earth had kept on spinning away on it’s axis through thick and thin for over 4.5 billion years, through dinosaurs, ice ages and even humanity, it wouldn’t stop now. Not because of this. This moist blue marble was oblivious and uncaring towards Arnold’s problems. It had been spinning when he was just a glint in the eye of some prehistoric aquatic organism and it’d be spinning after he was gone. It’d be spinning long after everyone was gone.
The thought certainly gave him some perspective but that’s not to say he wasn’t sad. He was bound to be, circumstances being what they were. Arnold’s ears pricked up and he looked towards the front door once again, certain that he heard a rustling from just outside. After a moment though he wasn’t so certain and returned to his thoughts. Sure, some would tell him to “grow a pair” or “man up” at the notion of being sad, but they could all fuck off. It was 2018. Men had every right to be sad for fucks sake, especially in circumstances such as this.
Arnold considered his grandfathers. Even men of the “stiff upper lip” era must’ve been sad sometimes. And what about their grandfathers? And theirs? And theirs? They’d all have been through the exact same experiences. They’d all have had good times and bad, been happy and sad, laughed and cried. Most would’ve even experienced heartbreak. They’d all come through it. They’d all passed on their genes and in time passed away, thus ensuring the survival of the human race. All the way back down the evolutionary line. They’d all been through the same old mixed bag. And they’d all risen from the dead.
As the banging and moaning started Arnold looked towards his front door once again. They’d caught his scent and they’d soon be inside the house. Rifle in one hand and nursing the wound in his chest with the other, he climbed gingerly to his feet and waited. He’d run for long enough and he was sick of it. Raising the gun and putting his eye to the scope, the momentary thought of surrender flashed across his mind.
“Not now.” Thought Arnold as the door burst open. “Not because of this.”